Freshmen. Accept the following, because they will happen to you.

Consume Your Current Body Weight in Food
Freshmen 15. That’s all there is to say. Hit the gym a couple times per week. Pudgy is not the new black.

Consume Your Body Weight in Alcohol
Freshman year or your 21st birthday, everyone will kneel on hands and knees to the porcelain God at least once from over doing it. Nonetheless, live and learn! Drink with caution and don’t be afraid to drink some water and eat some carbs.

Skip Class
I remember the first few weeks, even months of my college career. I was all gun-ho about going to class. And then I went to the dark side - I slept through my alarm. Whether you purposely don’t set your alarm or maybe it is just too nice of a day outside to go to class, there are days you will miss. Just do it and don’t look back.

Dance on a Bar
Maybe for a free t-shirt? A free shot? Or maybe it just seemed like a good idea at the time?

Lie to Your Professors
Last night was Thirsty Thursday and you completely forgot about the research assignment on the fertility vase of the Ndebele tribe. No fear - family emergency, Grandma’s seventh death, or your Religious Holiday usually work well.

Work for Free
It’s all about volunteer organizations and an unpaid internship. Now it all comes down to being the bitch for the resume.

Sleep for only 1 or 2 hours a Night for an Extended Period of Time
Mid-terms and finals. ’Tis the season of All Nighters! Red Bull, caffeine pills, and Starbucks runs helped me through. I can honestly say that I never onced pulled an “all nighter” during my freshman year. Came close, but never crossed the finish line.

Hook Up with an Authority Figure
RA? Tutor? Or the TA? Who you touch in college is unlimited.

Change Your Career Path at Least 7 Times
I walked into college as a Theatre major, quickly switched to a Journalism major, then tweaked that and became a Broadcast Journalism major to a Business major and now I’m a Communication major.

Enjoy your time here. Could be the best four (or five) years of your life!