Take it from me, I’ve spent hours, days, even months surfing the net for jobs. In that span of time I’ve come to one conclusion — everyone’s job descriptions are boring. You’re wanting to attract folks with personalities who are just as driven by their work as they are getting to happy hour, right?
The job description you have posted on your website should sell me on your company, I mean, that’s what you want from my cover letter, right? It (the job description), much like your company’s product/service, is another extension of your brand; opportunity for a FREE marketing push. Case in point: be fresh and represent your company (unless your company is actually that boring).
Hi. I’m Andy. I’m the Brand Manager at Mazuma Credit Union. I need a right-hand¹ man² to help me make Mazuma Credit Union one of the most beloved brands in KC.
What does this entail? Well I’ll shoot you straight. It’s going to involve me offloading a bunch of my work onto you for less money than I make. The good news? The work is gonna be pretty damn cool….for the most part. Here’s the breakdown on each:
Damn Cool Stuff
- 2014 is going to be a breakout year for the Mazuma brand in many ways. You’ll be coming in at the top of the wave and riding it right onto the beach where a delicious, non-alcoholic³ tropical drink will be waiting for you.
- You’ll be managing all of Mazuma’s social media sites. That’s huge. We’re completely revamping our social strategy and you’re gonna be the head honcho.
- You’re going to be dreaming up fun, creative, borderline inappropriate marketing ideas. We’ll take those ideas, scale them back so we don’t get fired and then go to market.
- You’ll be working closely with our advertising agency to push the envelope creatively and make waves. (See wave reference above). That includes dabbling in TV, radio, digital, direct, etc. For The Most Part
- You’ll be doing a lot of project management. That involves spreadsheets, invoicing, reports, etc. Hope you like this stuff cuz it comes with the territory. If it’s of any comfort, I’ll always be there to tell you to hurry up.
- You’ll be giving presentations. Occasionally, we need to brag about what we’re up to.
- I need you to manage a bunch of vendors to make sure we’re getting the best pricing and service. Be a bulldog. I’ll back you up.
- "Other Duties as Assigned" – This is my favorite phrase because it allows me to give you any weird task and justify it.
- Bachelor’s degree is required. Bonus points for a marketing, communications, PR or journalism degree.
- Minimum 2 years experience in marketing or advertising. Bonus points for financial marketing experience.
- You gotta love social media. Duh. You need to be a fan of it and use it regularly. Bonus points for applying to this job via LinkedIn. BIG bonus points if you’ve used social monitoring tools like Hootsuite, Radian6, Sprout Social, etc.
- A personality. You and I are going to be the keepers of the Mazuma brand so it just won’t work if you’re lame.
- I feel silly for even having to say this but you need to know how to use MS Word and Excel.
- Bonus points if you have a flair for writing. BIG bonus points if you can write in a fun, quirky, dare we say, humorous tone.
Unfortunately, we have no benefits package here. For medical coverage we send you to shaman and hope for the best.⁴
Mazuma Credit Union is an equal opportunity employer and will consider all application without regard to race, marital status, sex, age, color, religion, national origin, veteran status, disability of any other characteristic protected by law.
Disclosures (let’s see how close you’re paying attention)
- I said “man” because it rhymes with right-hand. I assure you all genders are welcome.
- I said “right-hand” not “right-handed”. I assure you southpaws are welcome. But you must be one or the other, not both. I don’t like show offs.
- I have to say non-alcoholic because HR will read this. In reality, we’re gonna get sloshed
- Kidding of course. We have benefits for medical, eyeballs and teeth. Also a cool 401-k plan and we get bank holidays off. Woot woot!
The city’s trio of big museums and the Kauffman Center—home to the city’s symphony, ballet, and opera—are proof that this city cares about more than just its famed barbecue. And while such cultural attractions are indeed state of the art, they remain accessible; Kansas City won the survey for affordability.
Though many cities in the U.S. have officially recognized the international celebration, Missouri is one of the first states to issue such a proclamation.
Event organizer Gus Wagner submitted the proclamation request online to Governor Jay Nixon’s office and after a few follow-up calls, the request was accepted in just two weeks.
The “Show-Me State” boasts thriving technology hubs in St. Louis, Kansas City and Columbia.
"We’re also proud to be the birthplace of social media icons such as Twitter’s Jack Dorsey, who began brainstorming and developing the possibilities of Twitter as a high-school student in the St. Louis area," said Governor Nixon.
"Social media is fun, it’s educational, you learn something new everyday," said Wagner. "Its part of the challenge and part of the fun."
In 2010, Panera Bread launched an experiment at one of its St. Louis locations: Instead of asking customers to pay a set price for their food like almost every other restaurant in existence, the store instead directed customers towards a sign at the entrance reading: “Take what you need; leave your fair share." Instead of asking for payment, cashiers give customers a receipt telling them how much the item would normally cost; patrons can decide how much they want to pay, and leave their cash in a donation box (they can also swipe a credit card).
The Panera Cares cafés have been surprisingly successful, pulling in up to 80% of what the regular cafés make. That’s enough to make a profit. The hope with the new experiment is that Panera will make enough to cover the cost of the turkey chili and use the rest of the cash to pay for local hunger programs. Anyone in need of food would do well to snag a bowl of the chili, which has a satiating 850 calories.
By 9 a.m., snowfall and ice layered Columbia. Due to severe weather creating hazardous traveling conditions, Governor Jay Nixon declared a state of emergency, yet Chancellor Deaton did not issue a closure.
The University of Missouri’s official Twitter account took a lowball approach and tweeted, “To reiterate, classes are in session. Please ignore 2 year old retweets.” The only reason people were retweeting those was because conditions were unsafe for students to travel and it was humorous the university thought it could win against mother nature. Moments later, their social team tweeted, “sidewalks and roads on campus are passable.” That’s wonderful, but what about the overwhelming majority of us who live off-campus? Were you planning on sending Campus Facilities into the City of Columbia and take care of the roads? Are the crews at Mizzou more equipped than the City of Columbia? And yet again, within the hour they stated: “snowfall amounts that…will be able to handle effectively.” Did you even look outside and see for yourselves? Were you planning to “handle effectively” the students who could have been injured on the way to class? Keep in mind that you did close University of Missouri Health Care outpatient clinics.
As they say, if you are not willing to contribute to the solution, don’t complain. Here is my solution: if Mizzou was SO adamant about remaining open (which I don’t understand what one-day of closure is going to affect, just ask my professors who habitually cancel class—it’s nothing new to us, the students) why didn’t the Chancellor, “of one of the great universities of the future,” do his part as a leader? There are an overwhelming number of resources, for instance, Mizzou Advantage!
The purpose of Mizzou Advantage is to “increase MU’s visibility, stature and impact in higher education and enhance instructional programs” and “the value of an MU degree.” Mizzou Advantage toots its horn featuring “a wide array of expertise and resources all located on the same campus, MU does things no other university can.” You’re right, Mizzou, you did do things no other university can, by placing the safety of your students at harm. Why didn’t you delve into “Media of the Future” and instruct professors to conduct classes online via Blackboard, email, social media networks, or an array of emerging platforms to strengthen our use in digital technologies? Perhaps you were relying on implementing “One Health/One Medicine” as the state’s major public research university connecting research and instruction in health care delivery, policy, business models, medical ethics and the culture of healthy living after students resulted in injury.
Today, brands become damaged because of their poor communications, which usually results and lies at the company’s head. Mizzou’s Twitter and Facebook accounts should never have ignored complaints. This was not a handful of students complaining, but professors, news broadcasts and even the Governor. Yesterday, Chancellor Deaton, the University of Missouri’s public relations and social media team failed during crisis communication. Good PR results in being sympathetic, taking responsibility for company’s errors and being transparent.
Strategic PR and social teams are prepared for crisis communication/emergency situations. I think it’s time Mizzou created one.